Bob Parker’s Political Dictionary

Work together cohesively (v.) – Let the unelected bureaucrats and the totalitarian mayor do whatever they want and take whatever they want.

Dysfunctional (adj.) – Democratic.

Functional (adj.) – A situation where a control freak from Hamilton who won’t work for less than half a million dollars is ‘indispensable’ for a city’s recovery.

Indispensable (adj.) – Necessary to maintain the illusion that we cannot run workplaces, organisations and communities without a figurehead in a suit telling everyone how to do their jobs and getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for it.

Rebuild Christchurch (v.) – Something which we cannot do without aforementioned overpaid control freak flying down each week to run our city for us.

Tony Marryatt (n.) – The only person in the universe capable of being Christchurch’s town clerk.

Market rates (n.) – If Auckland and Wellington city councils jump off a cliff, we should too.  In fact, we should jump off a bigger one, to encourage them to jump off an even bigger one, so that WE can jump off an EVEN BIGGER ONE!

Democracy (n.) – Pick your dictator every three years.  If you don’t like what he does during those three years, crumble before the three mighty unshakeables: “indispensable”, “market rates” and “we’ve already voted on it”.

Leak (n.) the unfortunate and unforgivable dissemination of the truth that may make someone look bad, or worse inept. (from Inkspressit Inink)

… any more suggestions?

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About calebmorgan

I write political blogs at cutyourhair.wordpress.com and sometimes other stuff at calebmorgan.wordpress.com. View all posts by calebmorgan

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